


How Do You Solve A Problem Like Samantha?

by Archangelsanonymous (Pattypixie)



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Cas shutting him down, Dean being a misogynistic jerk, Fem!Sam, Genderbending, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-12
Updated: 2014-12-12
Packaged: 2018-03-01 04:52:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,523
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2760278
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pattypixie/pseuds/Archangelsanonymous
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam wakes up and something is very, VERY wrong with him</p>
            </blockquote>





	How Do You Solve A Problem Like Samantha?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [WolvesWingsandThieves](https://archiveofourown.org/users/WolvesWingsandThieves/gifts).



> Written as a commission for Writinfreak!

   The first thing Sam noticed when he woke up was that the bed actually fit him. His legs weren’t falling off, and he actually fit rather comfortably into Gabriel’s arms. Sam wasn’t usually the little spoon kind, except when Gabriel got in his dominant archangel-y moods like the one he was in before they fell asleep. What had they even been arguing about? Eh, didn’t really matter anyway.

   The sleepy fog that his head was in slowly dispersed, bringing other observations. Why didn’t he have morning wood? He was a guy. It was in his DNA to wake up with a hard-on. Sam reached down to adjust himself and found...nothing? Holy shit, where did his dick go!? His eyes snapped open and he threw back the covers, causing Gabriel to release a sleepy whine beside him.

   “Gabriel, what the FUCK did you do!?” Sam yelled, looking down at his body. He was still in the sleeping pants and tee shirt he wore to bed, but both hung on him like a sack. Two large mounds protruded from his chest and his hips had been filled out, but his dick was absent. Most importantly, judging by the length of his legs and arms, he had lost about a foot of height.

   Gabriel stretched out next to him and put his arms behind his head, smirking. “I’m giving you a different perspective,” he shrugged.

   It slowly came back to Sam what they had been arguing about. Sam had been kinda tipsy and making fun of his vessel and...son of a bitch. Gabriel was super self conscious about his vessel. Sam massaged the bridge of his nose with significantly smaller hands and sighed. “Listen, I’m sorry about what I said,” Sam reached over and stroked Gabriel’s arm. “You know I love your vessel.”

   “I know,” Gabriel smiled and got out of bed. “Still, this will be a good learning experience!”

   Sam sighed. “Okay, I get making me shorter, but what’s with making me a girl? Is it a sex thing?”

   “Oh, that’s just for fun. If it was a sex thing, I would have done it long before now...Samantha,” Gabriel winked. Sam’s face turned red.

   “DAMNIT, GABRIEL!” He shouted. “Dean and I have a hunt today and I’m going to be all but useless in this body! It’s so fucking...” Sam poked at his slight tummy and boobs. “Squishy.”

   “Oh, boo hoo,” Gabriel mocked, conjuring a candy bar for himself. “You and I both know that there are some badass lady hunters out there that would kick your ass if they heard that.”

   Sam groaned and swung his legs over the mattress, cringing at the fact that he couldn’t even reach the floor. He scooted off the bed and walked over to the bathroom. If Gabriel was gonna make him stay in this body, he better get familiar with it. Sam padded over to the sink and looked up into the mirror. His face was surprisingly similar, just softened. He ran a hand across his chin, slightly uncomfortable with the lack of stubble. At least not having to shave was a nice benefit. He turned around and looked back to see just how long his hair was. It came to his mid back, and he silently cursed Gabriel for not just leaving his hair the same length.

   After brushing his teeth, Sam stared at the shower. He needed to take one, there was no question. He always felt a little grimy after drinking the night before. “Uh...Gabriel?”

   “Yes~?” Gabriel popped his head in the door and grinned.

   “How do I shower?” Sam asked, looking uncomfortable.

   “Well, you turn on the water, step in, lather, rinse, repeat--”

   “That’s not what I mean,” Sam frowned. “I mean, this is really weird. It’s my body, but it’s not my body. Am I supposed to see it naked and wash it? What are the boundaries?”

   “Hmm…” Gabriel put a finger to his lips and walked in. “I suppose it’s a little like a vessel for you.”

   “A vessel? Like…” Oh God. Sam felt a little sick to his stomach. He’d never thought about that before. All those thing he’d done with Gabriel. That had been a human’s body once. Dean with Cas, too. They had even MET Jimmy. “Gabriel, your vessel...the things we’ve done…”

   “Woah, woah, Sammy,” Gabriel took Sam’s shoulders. “Listen. I MADE my vessel. No one has lived in this noggin except me, okay? Even if I had convinced some sap to let me use him as a meat suit, he would have died a LONG time ago. The body you make sweet, sweet love to is all mine.” Sam nodded. “I created the body that you’re in now. This is literally you if daddy had stuck you with an extra X chromosome...and been a foot shorter.”

   “But Dean and Cas…”

   “That’s their crisis to work through,” Gabriel shrugged. “Now take a shower. You smell like stale whiskey and old sheets. I have to whip up some more...fitting clothes for you.” He winked and exited the bathroom.

   Sam sighed. At least he didn’t feel like he was violating himself anymore. He shoved down his oversized sweats and boxers, then pulled off his enormous shirt. It was at this point that he was glad that his attraction to women had basically dwindled to nothing after meeting Gabriel. Sam turned on the water and stepped into the shower, sputtering a little as the spray hit him directly in the face. Right. He was short. He reached up and adjusted the showerhead to a more comfortable position and started to wash.

   Once he was done, Sam walked back out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his hips like usual. “That wasn’t so hard. Actually a lot less to wash--”

   “FUCKING CHRIST, SAMMY!”

   Sam looked over and saw Dean quickly covering his eyes. “Oh shit, Dean. Didn’t Gabriel tell you--”

   “Yeah, he told me, but he didn’t tell me that you’d be walking out of the shower flashing everyone!” Dean shouted. “Put on a goddamn shirt!”

   “Dean, they’re just nipples. Everyone has them,” Sam said, walking over to the bed where Gabriel had set out a pile of clothes. “Where are Gabriel and Cas anyway?”

   “Angel stuff or something, I don’t know,” Dean fanned his fingers a bit to peek. “Are you decent yet?”

   “Not to your standards, you prude,” Sam replied, dropping the towel and picking up the panties Gabriel had left him. He smirked a little, seeing that they were a smaller pair of ones he already owned. Sam stepped into them, then pulled the sports bra over his head. He was grateful that Gabriel had the decency to not leave him something lacy with a million clasps. “Alright, you can look,” Sam sighed, stepping into his new jeans.

   “This is really fucking weird,” Dean commented, looking at Sam. “You’re super short.”

   “Thank you, captain obvious,” Sam rolled his eyes and pulled a tank top on. “I can still hunt though. I’m actually pretty muscular.”

   “There is no way in hell I am taking you hunting,” Dean scoffed, crossing his arms.

   “Why? Because I’m a girl now?” Sam asked, getting defensive as he buttoned up his shirt.

   “Well, thats one reason,” Dean admitted. “Two, can you even reach the salt?” He pointed at at a cabinet in the kitchenette.

   “Well, those are fucking stupid reasons,” Sam stormed over to the kitchen. “Of course I can fucking--” Sam reached up and frowned as his hand fell short of the shelf. He stood up on his tiptoes to get more height and he was still about six inches too short. “Who the fuck even makes cabinets this high?” Dean raised an eyebrow and smirked at Sam’s struggle. “This has to be some kind of code violation or somethi--ngh…”

   “Doin’ great there, Samantha,” Dean chuckled.

   “Shut your face,” Sam gave up and walked out of the kitchen. “Didn’t even wanna go on the hunt anyway. Just some stupid vampire…”

   “Wow, you’re even sulking like a woman,” Dean teased. The was a knock at the door and Dean peeked out before opening it to reveal Gabriel and Cas. “Well, it’s established that Sammy here isn’t going on the hunt today.”

   “Why?” Cas asked, tilting his head.

   “He, He’s a girl, Cas,” Dean said, trying to stifle his laughter.

   “I don’t see why his biological gender is relevant,” Cas said, stepping into the room. “He still retains his hunting knowledge, correct?”

   “Yeah, Cas but,” Dean looked a little uncomfortable. “Girls don’t hunt. It’s not safe.”

   “Ellen and Jo are female, correct?” Cas asked. “You let them hunt. Why not Sam?” Dean opened and closed his mouth, like he was imitating a goldfish.

   “He has a point there, Dean-o,” Gabriel smirked, taking a bite of his chocolate.

   Dean could tell he was outnumbered and threw up his hands in surrender. “Fine! Whatever,” he frowned. “But, you,” he pointed at Gabriel, “are babysitting. You’re the reason he’s like this.” Dean walked out and Gabriel turned to smile at Sam. This was going to be so much fun.

**Author's Note:**

> If you would like to commission a fic from me, please email me at pattypixie@gmail.com or find me on tumblr as Archangelsanonymous!


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